Slideshow: 9 crazy USB stocking stuffers

  • You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Yes now you can be insulted by big brutish looking men who never get dates, all from your desk top. The USB Desktop Bouncer is 8 inches of pure rubber fitted with a motion sensor, which, when it detects the office joker sniffing around your PC at lunch says things like 'You're not welcome here', 'your names not down, your not coming in' 'you're not coming anywhere near here looking like that', 'not today mate', 'come over here if you think your hard enough', and 'you're cruising for a bruising'.

  • LLLLUUUKKKEEE IIIAAAMMMM YYYOOOUUURRR FFFFAAATTTHHEEERRRR. Star Wars USB figurines that display Princess Leah's distress message? Where does the line form? That's really a 4G storage drive in the shape of Darth Vader, Chewbacca, Storm trooper, and R2D2. And we were kidding about the distress message.

  • Babies and your mouse don't mix. Not sure about you but we here at Layer 8 have little kids who like nothing better than to grab hold of a computer mouse and click the damn thing till its little mouse balls fall off. The Pop n Music Be-Mouse is a fully functional three button mouse that's lets kids interact with an onscreen game. Problem here is it's not at all clear if you can buy this here yet.

  • Whack this. It is the USB Whack-a-mole game. This desktop arcade challenge includes 30 second or 1 minute game play modes and an LED scoreboard next to the start and stop button at the front. Held in place by four suction pads on the feet, the idea is you start the game then as the moles flash you whack them gaining 1 point for every hit you make, according to the firm's Web site.

  • A better missile launcher. How much better could you make a USB missile launcher really unless you made it heat seeking. Well, how about making it wireless and adding a camera? According to Everything USB, users can now place the USB Wireless Missile Launcher anywhere, as long as it can get a signal, and fire at will, all while blaming some one else. The USB MSN Missile Launcher ,co-developed with Microsoft, lets you voyeuristically watch you targets' responses. Word is this new version isn't out there yet but there's always the old standby.

  • Bling for your USB. Normally I would be inclined to ignore this one but hey, it's the Christmas season. If your spouse really needs a good bling-fest, and really who doesn't, the Active Crystals line of crystal-studded USB drives and earphones might just be the ticket. For the ladies, there is a heart-shaped pendant on a beige silk cord that is actually a portable USB drive, and for the men, for some reason, a USB drive in the shape of a lock. The Heartbeat USB Memory Key goes for 178 dollars, Lock USB Memory Key, 178 dollars and Icon Headphones for 79 dollars. Let us also mention the Philips PhotoFrame USB digital photo display device which lets your loved one unload digital photos and show them off in a variety of frames.

  • Relieve stress. Computer not running right? Spouse driving you crazy? No friends on FaceBook? Your Whack-a-mole game broken? Well now you can just pick up your faux hatchet and whack the crap out of your computer screen. ScreenSmasher comes with software on a CD, a special whacking sensor that plugs into your USB port, and an 8 inch foam axe, plus special bonus features from Monkeysoft, including the friendly Monkeysoft Screen Saver. The company says ScreenSmasher is more fun than therapy. Come on. There is of course the old standby, USB Stress Button if you are afraid of whacking your PC.

  • If it quacks like a duck. Hard to say really why anyone but a young child would want this but hey, who are we to judge. According to the company's Web site, the Solid Alliance USB iDuck is aimed at those light-at-heart or just animal lovers. The iDuck uses a USB 1.1 interface and has a storage capacity of 256MB. When plugged into your computer's USB port, the iDuck will light up. Six different colors are available. Choose from pink, yellow, blue. Tangerine, Army, and Heart.

  • Christmas PC. Everyone loves to decorate so why not make your PC look like an after-Christmas party floor. The USB Christmas Kit comes with USB Christmas Lights, a Christmas hat, a mouse pad, a Christmas sign card and a downloadable animated screensaver.

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