ARN

Worm Farmers unite

Occasionally vendors try and position themselves on various issues to make it seem as though, under all that bureaucracy and wealth, there is always "someone who cares".

We here at Tabloid don't mind when people harp on about issues - because nine times out of ten they get caught saying something stupid.

Example 924: anti-virus vendor press release, 20/09/2000.

This company released a statement exclaiming how overjoyed it was to hear that Chen Ing-Hau, writer of the disastrous Chernobyl virus, has been detained by the authorities and may face three years in prison.

The irony? Ing-Hau made no money from the virus (we suspect), whereas we imagine that this company would have made a small fortune. Basically, it's better for its bottom line that Ing-Hau be on the streets. He writes viruses, viruses attack networks and computers, and the company charges the users of those computers to protect themselves.

Sending the message

It begs the question: "Who does the worm work for?" The company's managing director says that "this sends a strong message to virus writers that they will not escape punishment for their actions". But if they keep punishing the worm, the company will lose its food chain.

And where did the PR manager learn all his communication skills to write such a fine piece of schlop? Why, right here at IDG.