Channel Royale with cheese
- 25 April, 2001 13:02
So who is the well-known Australian channel identity whose recent escapade in the land of Pulp Fiction could be the basis for the next movie thriller?
Our hero, known for some of his fast moves, found himself in the situation of being the captive passenger of a well-intentioned new acquaintance after a high-powered industry workshop.
The mission-accomplished Melburnian, on a break-neck deadline to catch a flight from Oakland to connect with his Oz-bound escape from LA, had reluctantly accepted the offer of a ride. Like other lies told at IT industry events, the driver embellished on his knowledge of the route to the airport.
Now it's near dusk, and those who have any knowledge of the Oakland area will tell you, STAY ON THE MAIN ROADS'. Definitely don't stop for a Royale with Cheese'.
Having taken an exit and desperate to find directions from an obliging local, the driver and his passenger found themselves surrounded by interesting, colourful personalities before the car had even come to a complete stop. It appears that the locals don't see many intact cars, let alone pale-faced visitors, and it seemed the mood of those yelling and thumping the car was less than obliging.
Now our choking channel-man doesn't mind the occasional scrap, but unsure of his escape route and doubtful of his US ally, he issued the charge command. Smoking squealing tyres through red lights and careering past diving dudes, amazingly the airport sign appeared, like a celestial beacon.
"Didn't even look back," he said. "Ran from the rental park to the desk only to find the flight was delayed by 2 hours."
Whether it was cause or effect of the delay, our hero found himself seated next to "someone famous, who, after being surrounded by throngs of adoring fans at the departure gate, had a less than obliging attitude."
Who was this brooding stranger? None other than Samuel L Jackson. "Coulda done with your help a couple of hours ago," our channel man thought.
With the seconds crawling by for the Melbourne-bound maverick, the AA flight eventually took off for LA. And as luck would have it, on arrival at LAX our hero discovered that he was two terminals separating from his penultimate destination - which led to a kilometre and a half sprint to Terminal 4 with heavy luggage in tow.
Past immigration and onto the kangaroo-emblazoned jumbo, he was greeted with rousing applause for being the last aboard . . . You know the type, the one who keeps the plane and everyone else waiting for an extra 15 minutes. Everyone deserves there 15 minutes of fame.