Acquisitions found, botnets abound

Talk QWERTY to me: Microsoft isn't the only big player in the acquisition game. While everyone was poring over MS's Yahoo offer, Amazon bought Audible for $US300 million, presumably so it can deliver audiobooks to its Kindle e-book readers. Wait - didn't somebody already invent the talking calculator back in the 1970s?

Slow children playing:Apparently even Microsoft can't stand how slow Vista is. The Redmond reprobates have published Vista speed-up tips on Microsoft's Windows How To site. Here's some of the shocking advice: You should run fewer programs at the same time, restart your computer regularly, and when all else fails, add more memory. In other words, the same advice as for Windows 3.1, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows NT, Windows 2000, Windows ME, Windows XP, and DOS 5.0. It's nice to see Redmond has learned something in 25 years. Too bad programming a bug-free operating system wasn't it.

Stiff competition: Storm may still be raging, but it's been bumped from the top slot on the botnet hit parade by Mega-D, according to security research firm, Marshall. They claim the Viagra-pushing bot, also known as Mega-Dik, is now larger and more tumescent than the Storm worm, which has been spreading through bogus messages of love. But hey, size doesn't matter, right?