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munro quits

munro quits

High profile IT channel journalist Rebecca "Shockers" Munro stunned the combined channel community last week by quitting her beloved Australian Reseller News to join publicity hound Primary Communications.

Munro is said to have denied the move was a sellout akin to a reseller shifting to a vendor. "It's just the right thing for me to do at this point," she is reported insisting. "Besides, I always thought I wouldn't be here for more than two years and the opportunity to straighten out one of these PR companies was too good to pass up. The channel will always have a soft spot in my heart," Munro reportedly gibbered.

But the move has sent shockwaves through the IT industry.

One source extremely close to Munro, who refused to be quoted, slammed her former workmate, saying the move was motivated "by nothing more than a desire to earn more money and develop new skills. Where does she get off?" she added.

Another ARN scribe who is believed to be sympathetic to the PR cause commented that Munro had "many of the attributes required to be successful in PR". Besides tenacity, ability and an understanding of what a good story is, he said her smile and hair were ideal. "I'm a bit concerned about her pouting skills though," he added.

But popular Munro's decision to leave journalism has left a trail of disgruntled vendor spokespeople who were only too pleased to speak out about her. Compaq's Anne Eckert (who did not want to be quoted) said through gritted teeth that she wished Munro well but regretted that she was aligning with an organisation linked to a Compaq competitor. "She seemed to really understand the Compaq view of the world," Eckert lamented.

And business development manager for chip wannabe AMD Steven Fraser described her as a "real sweetie . . . she seemed to come to terms with all those technical words we [real] blokes take for granted".

But a survey by ARN Tabloid revealed that the enigmatic Munro has been widely misunderstood, and that her warm friendly exterior belies a hidden truth. She has been described as strong-willed, high achieving, unwilling to compromise on professional standards - qualities unexpected in PR chicks.

For once in her life, Munro was not able to comment, as she was not given the opportunity.

Chip giant prepares for PC mating seasonBy Mag D'uble'Following hot on the heels of the Turkish Internet cause celebre Mahir from Izmir, chip giant Android Mating Devices has kept the love flowing with a new tool guaranteed to enhance the sexual prowess of even the most lacklustre, stay-at-home-on-the-desktop personal computer.

According to a press release that lobbed into Tabloid's "No junk mail please" folder, the new 850MHz processor (a special Valentines' gift for that special family pet that occasionally comes bundled with Internet access, video vouchers, Queensland holidays, shower caps and hot water bottles) provides Viagra-like results not only in the actual Processing act, but also in much underrated areas of PC foreplay such as voice recognition, 3D image modelling, image compression and rich audio.

According to one excited end user specially selected to trial the processor on the family PC on February 14, the chip worked so successfully that the happy computer is now expecting a very happy occasion.

"We haven't decided whether to give the offspring away, auction them on the Internet or just bundle them with roadkill refurbished by a taxidermist friend of ours," the end user said.

Android Mating Devices expects the processor to ship in plenty of time for the upcoming mating season. RRP is expected to be less than the gross domestic product of several small-to-medium East African nations (SMEANs).

Briefs

Following the publication of a letter to Tech Support in ARN Tabloid (December 8, 1999) a female reader forwarded the following in the spirit of balance. So in keeping with Tabloid's tradition of fairness . . .

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewellery applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system.

Can you help please!!!!

Thank you,

Jane

Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause.


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