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Tabloid briefs

Tabloid briefs

Here's a ready HR BS reference guide for the next time you're asked to write a reference for someone. Alternatively, it can be used as a handy dictionary of terms next time someone writes one for you.

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE: Not too bright.

EXCEPTIONALLY QUALIFIED: Made no major blunders yet.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks a lot.

FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Spouse drinks, too.

CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the cops.

ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.

QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for mistakes.

CAREFUL THINKER: Won't make a decision.

TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.

PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT: Buys drinks for all the boys in the office at happy hour.

FORCEFUL: Argumentative.

AGGRESSIVE: Obnoxious.

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS: Gets someone else to do it.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.

EXPRESS THEMSELVES WELL: Speak English.

CONSCIENTIOUS: Scared.

ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nit picker.

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES: Is tall or has a loud voice.

EXCEPTIONAL JUDGMENT: Lucky.

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR: Spends all day downloading jokes from the Internet.

STRONG PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.

CAREER MINDED: Back stabber.

COMING ALONG WELL: About to be let go.

OF VALUE TO ORGANISATION: Gets to work on time.

RELAXED ATTITUDE: Sleeps at desk.

EXPERIENCED PROBLEM SOLVER: Screws up often.

PRIVATE: Hasn't slept with anyone at the office yet.

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY: Too ugly to get a date.

INDEPENDENT WORKER: Nobody knows what he/she does all day.

FORWARD THINKING: Procrastinator.

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS: Able to BS well.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Spends lots of time on phone.

LOYAL: Can't get a job anywhere else.


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