Offer pizza and beer, ARN will follow

Offer pizza and beer, ARN will follow

Not afraid to turn the guns on fellow colleagues, Tabloid spies caught five ARN journalists milling about North Sydney with absolutely no idea where they were going.

The office suddenly went quiet on Tuesday afternoon, when a number of ARN journalists took off in search of beer and pizza at the expense of a large networking vendor.

Squeezing five journalists in a car is no mean feat, and only generally possible if you entice them with copious amounts of food and alcohol (hint, hint).

Approaching their destination, a five-way argument took place about where exactly it was they were going. All had received the invitation and the e-mail confirming their attendance, but do you think any of them had thought to bring the street address?A rather embarrassing "I thought you had it" exchange ensued as they drove around North Sydney in circles. Finally, the head scout dumped the troupe on the curb and disappeared to find a parking spot.

Concerned that they might miss out on a free feed, the journalists milled about on a corner and made increasingly desperate calls to the ARN office, the vendor and the PR company.

"We're here, but we forgot the address," admitted a rather distraught and hungry ARNer, who finally managed to get through to the PR company.

The PR chick was very understanding and helpful (after all that is what she is paid for), soon they were sitting under the warm glow of fluorescent lights eating pizza and playing with the latest technology.

The incident has precipitated an IDG-driven public awareness campaign. If you happen to find a journalist lost and forlorn wandering the streets of North Sydney, assume the worst. Approach them carefully (they startle easily) and entice them into the office with an offering of beer and pizza. If that fails, on-the-record comments or a juicy lead may help. As a last resort, male ARN journalists will generally respond to sporting tips.

Once they are safely confined, give them IT gizmos to play with and call IDG immediately. Warning: keeping journalists on the premises for extended periods may lead to some serious shortfalls in stocks of marketing material like squishy toys, T-shirts and other knick knacks. Despite all assurances to the contrary there is no guarantee that you will get a mention in the next ARN (unless of course we have a photo on file).

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