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Techie Jargon: Part Two

Techie Jargon: Part Two

Last week Tabloid showed you the first chapter in Crackmonkey and Mr Bad's "How to win a technical argument", for shooting down your know-all techie friends with an array of geek vocab. Just in case your victim had managed to squirm out of their hole after your blisteringly articulate attack, here's part two to put them back in their place.

HOW TO WIN A TECHNICAL ARGUMENT: PART TWOThis sort of thing should really be outsourced.

You've obviously ignored the various namespace issues.

I don't think you're considering the performance trade-offs.

What kind of benchmarks have you been running?

Let's table this for now, and we'll talk about it one-on-one offline.

This really doesn't jibe with our core competency.

I remember that IBM had a project to do that back in the 70s.

We need this to fit on a single floppy.

Yes, but can this be embedded in a toaster, for example?

We need something that my mum can use.

Users won't want to click through that many layers of hierarchy.

The packaging costs will be prohibitive.

Look, would you just get off your Be obsession for FIVE MINUTES and talk serious design with us?

That's a good idea - you should do that on your home page.

Ho, man! Are they still AROUND?

That's so cool. I thought that whole idea was discredited years ago.

Yes, but we're standardising on XML.

Well, they're going to do that with the next version of Perl, so we should probably wait.

Well, they're going to do that with the next version of OS X, so we should probably wait.

I heard that the only real application for that technology was child pornography.

How did you hear about it?


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