At Large: Open Letters

At Large: Open Letters

Matthew JC. Powell catches up on some correspondenceTo: my credit card provider Thank you very much for your assistance during my recent crisis, when my credit card number was misappropriated by person or persons unknown and used in some sort of mobile telephone scam via a company in Brisbane. Your prompt action no doubt prevented more money being stolen.

I also appreciate your clarification of the term "24-hour call centre". I discovered the fraud at midnight, and was told upon calling that I would have to call back in the morning - basically, the thieves could have the run of my card until then. Of course, when I did phone back in the morning, to be told that stopping my credit card would also cut off my access to ATMs, leaving me with exactly $27.30 until the new card arrived, there was no chance whatsoever that I could ask you to delay stopping my card until I whipped out to the machine and back.

It's nice to know who has the power in this relationship.

All the best, etc.

To: "Telstra Top up by phone"

Congratulations on a tip-top implementation of what I am sure is a very useful service. I have no personal experience of it myself, being an Optus Mobile customer, but I have spent a fair bit of money on it recently. Just shy of $2000, actually. In a week. So I feel somehow qualified to comment.

I'm sure the security of your service is second to none, leaving nothing to chance. Especially in these days when all manner of nefarious rapscallions are running about, one certainly wouldn't take a credit card number over the phone and not, for instance, ask for the three-digit authorisation code that should be required to use it?

You would not, for instance, allow 12 different mobile phone numbers to be "topped up" from a single credit card without wondering at the generosity of the card owner? You must have presumed I was running some sort of drive to provide all the homeless people of Brisbane with mobile phones. I assure you, this work is far from finished.

Unfortunately, it will have to go on without me, as my financial resources are required elsewhere - like paying my own bloody bills instead of someone else's. You will shortly be contacted by my credit card provider, who will no doubt ask you to refund the money that was spent on my card. Please don't take this personally.

On the other hand, do.

All the best, etc.

To: the slime-sucking bottom-dwelling dribbling twisted warped festering worm-ridden garbage-picking suppurating sons of motherless filth who stole my credit cardShame on you. Naughty.

Matthew JC. Powell absolvit. Atone on

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