My tongue tastes like I've been sucking on an exhaust pipe, my feet throb like an outboard motor, and my brain feels like Charo has been doing the cuchi-cuchi dance on my forehead. This can only mean one thing: I've just returned from four days at CES in Vegas. And it was quite a show. At least, I think it was quite a show. The details are a mite fuzzy.
Leapin' Lizards: One thing I do remember: Intel announced it was flushing its 37-year-old 'Intel Inside' logo and adopting a swooshy new one with the catchphrase "Leap Ahead" appended to it. The rebranding is part of a $US2.5 billion campaign to pump up Intel's Viiv (rhymes with "connive") digital media chip. I understand Intel plans to name its next line of chips after members of the Black Eyed Peas: Taboo, Fergie, Will.I.Am, and Apl.de.Ap.
The "E" Stands for Exasperating: After Cringester Issac D. replaced a failed motherboard on one of his client's eMachines PCs, Windows XP demanded a new registration key. When he called Microsoft they said, Sorry, not our problem, call eMachines. But eMachines said, Sorry, the new motherboard means it's no longer an eMachine, can't help you. So his client dropped another $199 for a new copy of XP. Company spokesfolk say if his client had let eMachines do the repairs, he could have avoided paying for a new OS. Still, desktop Linux is looking more attractive every day.
We Will, We Will Grok You: Visit Grokster.com these days and instead of p-to-p software, you'll find a scary looking message displaying your IP address and the warning "You are not anonymous". Interestingly, that message is nearly identical to those in the bogus "email@example.com" emails I keep getting. Only the FBI mail with the Sober worm attached, whereas Grokster.com offers links to sites owned by the MPAA and the RIAA. First Sony BMG installs spyware on people's machines, then the RIAA adopts cyber scare tactics. And they complain about people swapping copies of Don't Phunk With My Heart?
Got hot tips or tales of corporate villainy? Send 'em to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll log your IP address - and maybe send you a Cringe bag to boot.