Homepage: What's in a name?

Homepage: What's in a name?

Just in case you missed it, NSW voters trudged along to vent their collective spleen late last month in the State election we had to have but no one really cared about.

And what a mouth-watering plethora of candidates awaited us as we unfolded the infamous "tablecloth" ballot paper.

If you wanted to kill the pain and get out of the polling booth as quick as you could say "privatisation", I suggest you would have voted either Labor or Liberal.

But why?

On the one hand you had the incumbent premier, Bob Carr, who for the past four years has been publicly lambasted for his party's abysmal record on health, education and crime (and that's even before I start to nit-pick).

Over in the Liberal corner, Kerry "the Clayton's saviour" Chikarovski ran an outstanding campaign noted for its complete and utter ineptitude and lack of compelling policies. You're probably wondering whom I voted for then? Can't tell. It's a secret.

I also ducked below the line to consider selecting my best 15 candidates for the Lower House only to discover that the options at this end of the spectrum were just as tantalising.

There they were. The What's Doing Party, headed by rugby league legend (and I use the term loosely) Mario Fenech. A party whose policy platform centred on the fact that it had no policies, but still managed to gain 7500 votes. Stunning!

What about the Marijuana Smokers Rights Party? Judging by the whopping 22,500 votes that it received it's little wonder that NSW is in the mess that it's in. And one could only imagine the compelling policies of a combined party featuring the marijuana smokers, the gun owners, shooters and sporting hunters coupled with the outdoor recreation party.

And the hits just kept on coming as I scrolled down the tablecloth. I could have elected the Make Billionaires Pay More Tax Party, but then wondered why it didn't join forces with the Communist Party (which, for the record, polled almost 2000 votes).

Suddenly I was hit by a wave of morality and felt compelled to put my faith in the Stop Banks From Exploiting Australians Party, the Responsible Gambling Party and the doozy of them all, the Jobs for Everyone - Futures For All Party.

The choices were endless. I stood in awe of the talent on display across the tablecloth knowing (as you do at every election) that my considered vote could mean the difference between Fred "The Saint" Nile or one of those pretentious posers masquerading as the Four Wheel Drive Party becoming our new Premier.

But what's in this for the channel, I hear you cry? Well nothing really. But, if you read between the lines you'll notice that sheep stick with parties they know and trust. Which is why customer loyalty is the cornerstone of any successful business.

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