When not inquiring about my love life, readers often ask about Apache. I'm pleased to report that Apache is a mangy old mutt who sleeps most of the time, eats anything put in front of him, and smells like sweat socks soaked in brine. They say that after a while dogs start to resemble their owners. I guess it must be true.
The people have spoken: The votes are in, and there's no need for a recount. By a ratio of 16-to-1, readers responded to my question "Am I too hard on Microsoft?" with a resounding 'No way, Jose'. Most said I should be even tougher on the Redmond Reprobates.
Meanwhile, reader Bryce A. suggests a Microsoft model for lawn care: Provide free mowing until the other lawn services go under, then create a license agreement that says Microsoft owns the dirt and grass, but it's up to you to get rid of the weeds. And don't try planting any Apple trees - the soil's not compatible.
Don't cry for me, Argentina: For a while Carly Fiorina looked like a front-runner for president of the World Bank. Then Paul Wolfowitz got the nod. Other disappointed candidates include Bono, Angelina Jolie, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. At least Carly's in good company.
Smells like school spirit: I've received many emails about Dell's, um, creative approach to pricing, but this one takes the prize. Reader Kevin C. reports that a small business can snag an Inspiron 1150 notebook for about $US600, but a K-12 school could shell out nearly $US1350 for the same box. This must be what CEO Michael D. means when he touts "The Dell Effect" on education.
Judge dread: It seems my take on Apple's suits against rumour blogs was slightly askew. To Judge James Kleinberg, it doesn't matter whether you're a blogger, journalist, or tired old rumourmonger, a trade secret is a trade secret. Speaking of which, have you heard about Apple's top-secret reputation shredder? In just a few weeks it can take a wildly popular company and drive it straight into the toilet. But remember: You didn't read it here.