It's time I had a change of scene, dear readers. You may never have suspected this, but the picture of hirsute splendour you may have seen accompanying my 'At Large' column week after week in ARN was taken more than two years ago.
You may still have recognised me if you attended an ARN breakfast recently or if I sneaked into your shops looking to make mischief, because I still look like that. I've been locked in this perpetual state of never-changing hairstyle, like a repeat of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Well, it's got to change. The problem is, I haven't the will to do it. I try to be brave, but asking a hairdresser to cut what I've nurtured so long is anathema to me.
So I'm calling on you to help. I'm looking for sponsorship to remove my hair.
How much money I make governs how much hair I lose.
All the money will be donated to charities supporting cancer research, since that disease has robbed me of some people who were very dear to me and I want to take revenge by eradicating the thing. If I have to go bald doing so, I will.
To place a donation phone (02) 9902 2729 by Friday, October 30.
Every little bit helps, and I'll be much cooler for the summer.